He turns bad into good and takes our adversities to weave a beautiful picture

When I was a little boy, my mother used to embroider a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. I told her that it looked like a mess from where I was sitting, which was the underside. I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand.

She would smile at me, look down and gently say, “My son, you go about your playing for a while, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side.”

I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the light ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother’s voice say, “Son, come and sit on my knee.”

This I did, only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy.

Then Mother would say to me, “My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a pre-drawn plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing.”

Many times, through the years I have looked up to my Heavenly Father and said, “Father, what are You doing?” He has answered, “I am embroidering your life.” I say, “But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright?” The Father seems to tell me, “My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from My side.”

The above anecdote is taken from Embroidery (Author unknown). It is short and simple, but contains a wonderful message that helps to explain the questions and problems in life, especially spiritual ones, we often encounter.

For example, why does God allow me to suffer so much and bad things happen to me every now and then, even though I am not the agent or cause of these incidents? I am sure all of us have experienced such unfortunate situations at several points in our lives.

From accidents and natural disasters (storms, floods, forest fires, etc.) to those that man inflicts on others such as wars and criminal acts that cause us to lose those we love, our homes and personal property.

I, too, have been through several traumatic events and sufferings while growing up. I was born and raised during the Vietnam civil war, between people in the North and the South, due to differences in government and political ideologies. By the time the war ended in April 1975, I was 15 years old, but had witnessed many tragic scenes: bombs killing innocent people – especially women, children and the elderly – and destroying villages and cities.

I have seen mothers mourn their children, wives their husbands and the plight of orphans who no longer had parents. At least two million civilians and 1.3 million combatants died during the war that started in 1954.

In 1981, I had to flee my hometown and country. I had no choice but to leave behind everyone and everything dear to me, especially my parents, family and friends, to be free to answer God’s call for me to enter the priesthood.

The Communist authorities, who won the war and had taken over governing Vietnam, tried to stop me after discovering that a Catholic seminary had secretly accepted my application to study for the priesthood.

They forced me to enlist in their military in 1980 to fight against the Khmer Rouge, their rival communists in Cambodia, and it was highly unlikely I would have survived this war. So, I deserted the Vietnamese communist army and became a fugitive who was hunted like an animal.

There were times, while I was on the run from my pursuers that I silently lashed out at God, because He had called me to follow Him as a disciple of Jesus and I felt He had abandoned me. I asked why He chose and called me, only to leave me running for my life.

“God, could you see what you have done to me?” I complained to God. “I must endure persecutions because of my faith and because I did answer your call. I had to leave my home and family and must search for a way out of my own terrible situation, and it seems to me that there is no way out.”

The only way to survive this persecution, I concluded, was to escape from Vietnam. It can be said that from 1980 till the end of 1981 was the darkest time of my life. I lived completely in despair and in that great misery I pleaded many times with God to take my life, just as Tobias prayed to God in the Old Testament (Tb 3:1-6):

3:1. Then Tobias sighed, and began to pray with tears,
3:2. Saying, Thou art just, O Lord, and all thy judgments are just, and all thy ways mercy, and truth, and judgment:
3:3. And now, O Lord, think of me, and take not revenge of my sins, neither remember my offences, nor those of my parents.
3:4. For we have not obeyed thy commandments, therefore are we delivered to spoil and to captivity, and death, and are made a fable, and a reproach to all nations, amongst which thou hast scattered us.
3:5. And now, O Lord, great are thy judgments, because we have not done according to thy precepts, and have not walked sincerely before thee.
3:6. And now, O Lord, do with me according to thy will, and command my spirit to be received in peace: for it is better for me to die, than to live.

It is like the embroidered story at the start of this article. Seen from my side, I felt that everything was in chaos, deadlock and despair. I could not see a way out and became depressed and pessimistic during this dark time that had engulfed me. Life became meaningless and I did not want to live anymore.

I wanted to die peacefully so that I could be united with God in heaven. It was my sincere wish and great desire at that time because this would solve all my problems. Every night, with tears in my eyes, I prayed earnestly to God to take me away to Him.

I prayed this way for more than one month, only to get up each morning very much alive. God had remained silent and did not grant my wish.

For about 10 months I lived in such a terrible condition, hiding as a fugitive and constantly afraid the military police or local law officers would eventually catch up with me. My state of mind was dreadful that my family finally ordered me to flee Vietnam, as the situation had become quite dangerous for both me and them.

I didn’t want them to suffer the consequences of my actions, so I searched and eventually found someone who was gathering other people who were in a similar dire situation. They had a small boat for 51 of us, including children, to escape Vietnam.

At the first opportunity in darkness one night, these agents goaded us like cattle to a meeting point at the coast and onto the boat so small there was hardly space for anyone to lie down and rest.

We had no choice but to endure what was no guarantee that we would survive our desperate flight from Communist oppression.

The weather was no friend either because fierce rainstorms conspired to accompany us at sea. For five days high waves tossed our boat vigorously and when the sea was calm, the blazing sun burnt our skins.

It came to the point that although no one fell off the boat in trying conditions, we were losing hope of surviving because no land had come into view, and we were running out of food and water.

Everyone, Christian or not, had quietly made their peace with God before what must surely come: death. Then, just as suddenly as our hope was almost gone, as twilight took over from day, we spotted lights in the distance.

As we squinted our eyes, we could make out people. It was land and we guessed it was probably a village of people going about their evening activities.

To our amazement when we reached the “village” it was a camp for other Vietnamese refugees like us at Pulau Bidong in the eastern coast of Malaysia.

The joy of everyone on our little boat that we had reached such a place was indescribable and one of unbelief. We had escaped from the jaws of death at sea. For us, it was a great miracle. Whether one believes or not, we were all convince that surely it was the Hand of God that had been with us all along at every step of our ordeal, in Vietnam and especially in our journey to freedom in the treacherous sea.

Through our jubilation, I could imagine God admonishing us: “O men of little faith?” (Mt 8:26)

Continue to Part 2

He weaves beauty in our lives, but we won’t see the masterpiece until it is ready

Continued from Part 1

In transit at Pulau Bidong, the feeling was that of someone without any relatives or friends living in countries that accepted refugees. Odds were I was unlikely to be resettled and would eventually be sent back to Vietnam.

But after more than six months living there in poor conditions, I was fortunate that an Australian humanitarian delegation had requested to interview me. They eventually decided I ticked all the right boxes as a refugee and allowed me to resettle in Australia. This was my greatest joy yet, for it opened a new path for me to answer God’s call to the priesthood.

I arrived in Perth, Western Australia on August 10, 1982. It is nearly 40 years since that day, and I have worked to devote all my time and energy to be a worthy student of God.

My first task was to learn English, which I could not speak or write, with the view that one day I could go back to the Seminary to continue my vocation to the priesthood. I was very fortunate to have first entered Saint Charles Seminary in Guildford, in the Archdiocese of Perth in 1982.

Later at the end of the following year, I moved to Sydney to join the Redemptorist Order.

In February 1984, I officially started my formation program with them and after 10 years, my Provincial Superior approved and recommended that I be ordained as a Redemptorist priest. This happy occasion came to pass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in Maidstone Parish in Melbourne on 16 July 1994.

After my ordination, the Provincial Superior allowed me to pursue the second-year program of my Psychology studies at the University of Western Australia. I then went on to study for a Master of Moral Theology at the University of Notre Dame in early 1996.

After I gained Australian citizenship, by God’s grace I was invited to Vietnam to teach Moral Theology at the Redemptorist Seminary in Saigon (also known as Ho Chi Minh City). After a year of teaching there, I was sent to Rome to pursue a Doctorate in this subject at the Alphonsian Academy in Rome.

The Redemptorists founded the academy in 1949 and since 1960 began specialising in moral theology as a part of the Pontifical Lateran University’s Faculty of Theology.

On April 8, 2003, after three years in Italy, I completed my doctorate and returned to Australia to continue the mission God and the Redemptorist Congregation entrusted to me.

I can now reflect with clarity on the important events that have taken place in my life: From accepting God’s call to beginning my journey towards the priesthood in a very difficult situation and entering the “underground seminary” to having to decide to leave my homeland via the sea voyage.

Living in the Pulau Bidong Refugee camp, my days were filled with hardship, suffering and despair because I did not know what my future would be like and where it would go.

When I arrived in Australia, I was faced with new challenges. First, I found myself in a completely foreign culture and language. I was like a lost sheep and helpless as I was alone in a foreign land without any friends or relatives. Except One. God was the only friend I had, and He was my companion. I had faith in Him, who was full of love and mercy, and hoped He would never abandon me in my misery!

But Australia has given me a golden opportunity to continue my priestly vocation journey. It also provided me with a good and favorable environment to indulge in my studies, so that I can continue to follow my dreams. With so many ups and downs, and many important events that have since happened, I reflected that I had a view exactly like the boy in the story.

I saw underneath the tapestry God was weaving in my life and was confused, bewildered and felt hopeless. I thought I will never be able to continue my vocation journey, even after I escaped from Vietnam because when arrived in Australia, I found it difficult to learn English.

Enunciating English words drove me crazy, as it does not have a consistent rule to guide me how to pronounce them correctly. Then, I did not dare think that I would qualify to study philosophy and theology at the Major Seminary, even if I were accepted. There were times when I felt completely exhausted and was convinced I would fail in my vocational endeavours.

But mysteriously, God had His own plan and would carry it out to lead me through the twists and turns of my journey. I experienced the kind of melancholy mood of the two disciples on the way back to Emmaus, who were sad, depressed and desperate, because three days had passed and they still have not seen their Master risen from the dead, as he promised.

Like them, I wanted to retreat and give up, and to accept a return to my previous life. In that critical moment, Jesus himself appeared before me, just as He did to the two Emmaus disciples. He encouraged and gave me more energy, patience, and will-power so that I would be able to overcome the difficulties I was facing.

After 28 years since I was ordained as priest (1994-2022), I am amazed and realize it was God who weaved everything in my life. It was His hand that guided and led me to where I am today.

Indeed, He is a mighty God and a talented and brilliant embroiderer.
Only He can perform great things: from nothingness to existence, from the trivial to the great, from something ordinary to the extraordinary, from an unknown person to an evangelizer filled with a burning love of God’s good news and of His unconditional love for humanity.

Dear God, I thank You with all my heart and would like to express my deep gratitude to you. Thank you for illuminating and revealing to me Your wonderful message through the story “God’s Embroidery”. It gives me an insight into Your marvelous plan, although it can sometimes be too mysterious for me and others to comprehend it fully.

I am so deeply grateful for whatever you have done in my life. You truly know what is best for me and how to form me according to your Son’s image. May you continue to transform and help me to realize that I need to be more patient with myself, and with the work you are doing at present.

I need to wait until Your embroidery is completed. Only then can I fully understand and see the masterpiece of Your embroidery, and that is also the finished article that You want to show me of my life through the ups and downs that You have allowed me to experience.

May I always trust you wholeheartedly in your divine providence and in a plan that you have for me, since you are my God, a merciful and loving Father.

Meditating on His mysterious Providence as a loving Father for our lives

(Editor’s note: Fr Peter had to flee the clutches of the Vietnamese communist army to answer God’s called to the Priesthood. Watch the documentary on his dramatic escape in the video link provided in this story)

Recently, I felt very fortunate to have received two wonderful messages from God. The first message is this: God is weaving my life and each one of us, so we need to wait patiently until the embroidery is completed. Hopefully by then and only then will we be able to look closely and see in its entirety the splendor of this wonderful embroidered painting of which God is the author. Regarding this experience, I had written an article: God the talented embroiderer in order to share with the readers my own personal insight.

And this weekend, I received another message through the story: “Is Your Hut Burning?” by an unknown author. The heart of this story is that “every cloud has a silver lining”. People often call it “a blessing in disguise”.

I’d like to take the liberty of quoting the full text of the above story for your convenience.

“The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him.prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Though exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements and to store his few possessions.

Then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened: everything was lost.

He was stunned with grief and anger. “God, how could you do this to me!” he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

‘How did you know I was here?’ asked the weary man of his rescuers. ‘We saw your smoke signal,’ they replied.”

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly. But we shouldn’t lose heart, because God is always at work in our lives—even in the midst of pain and suffering.

The next time “your little hut is burning to the ground” – remember, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

From Is Your Hut Burning? by an unknown author

When I read and reflect on this story, I think of some events that happened in my life in the past, but at that time, I could not understand or explain why. But these things happened to me, just like our shipwrecked friend who was washed up on a deserted island. Unfortunately, his hut eventually caught fire. It’s really cruel that things like that can happen to anyone.

Like this guy, my first reaction was to blame God for allowing bad things to happen to me, “God, how could you do this to me!” The year was 1980, the Communists were in control of Vietnam for five years and I was a fugitive from their military.

The military police was hunting for me because I had deserted from the army, six months after I was forced to enlist. I was on the run and had to keep travelling from place to place, just to evade them.

I was depressed and frustrated, and screamed to express my anger and resentment towards God. After all, I had given my life to serve Him and a seminary had quietly accepted my application to study for the priesthood. I tried to make sense of things in the hope of finding an answer, or at least something to comfort and help me accept the unfortunate realities that had engulfed my life.

After many days of scratching my head in an attempt to understand what was happening against my will, I still could not find a reasonable explanation on why God had allowed this to happen to me. In the end, I just had to surrender and accept things despite my desperate situation.

There were times when I fell into a state of complete despair, with no desire for anything or to continue with life because it had become meaningless. In light of such circumstances, could it be said that death is a better thing? I had such a thought, even though I knew life is the most precious gift God gives us and we, in every way, must sustain and protect it.

For almost a year, I wandered around under the weight of extreme depression and disappointment because I couldn’t see my future and find a way out of my desperate situation. In fact, it seemed to me there was no way out. Everything had become meaningless to me. Pessimism overwhelmed me and the will to live was slipping away.

But indeed “in misfortune, there is luck”. Or in Vietnamese we say, Thành ngữ tiếng Việt: Trong cái rủi có cái may, which in English means “A blessing in disguise”. If I had not fled the training at a secret military camp, I would never have thought about escaping by boat from Vietnam. And I would not have been forced to leave my family and seek freedom, so that I could pursue my priestly vocation.

VIDEO: Watch Fr Peter’s journey from refugee to the priesthood: Heeding the Divine Call

But thanks to the chance I got to squeeze into boat, filled with my fellow refugees, and was able to flee from Vietnam that I was finally able to see a ray of hope for my future. Despite the difficult journey traversing the rough sea, the small wooden boat of about 11 meters in length and 3 meters wide held steady amid huge waves and strong winds.

After five days adrift we finally arrived safely at a small island, called Pulau Bidong in Malaysia. It turned out to be providential because it happened to be refugee camp for escapees, who were also from Vietnam. This was a great miracle for us. Everyone in our boat was happy because we had cheated death. We rejoiced and from the bottom of our hearts, we silently thanked “God” for giving us a chance to rebuild our lives.

As I was looking back, I believed that God’s wonderful divine hand led us to the camp. He has a way of acting that I sometimes cannot understand, for who can fathom God’s ways and His thinking.

Thanks to the experience I had during the most tragic and dark time in my life, I was later able to somewhat understand and sympathize with those who were in a similar situation as I was in.

So, every time I have the opportunity to meet and confide in these people, I share with them my hardships and tribulations in order to encourage and comfort them. I believe that all sufferings and difficulties in human life will eventually pass, as our grandparents used to say, “The river has a bend, man has a time.” Again, there is also the same Vietnamese saying that goes like this, “Con Sông có khúc, con người có lúc”.

When we think about that advice, it is very wise, as none of us have to live forever in extreme suffering. Moreover, if we are Christian, one who has faith in God as a bountiful and merciful Father, then He himself will never abandon us.

So, when I read these words, which are recorded in the Bible, they are the positive answer to our negative thoughts. I feel extremely delighted, because it turned out to be true with what I’ve been through.

These words from God correspond with my own experience when I say it is impossible but God instead replies, “Yes, it was possible because nothing is impossible with Me (Luke 18:27)”. I say I am not smart enough and may not be able to study in the Seminary. God again replies and say, “I give you wisdom” and “You can do all things” (Philippians 4:13). And the list of things I used to argue with God could go on as in this story I am telling you.

So, today, I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to re-read these golden words and I realise that the Word of God is really a light, guiding my way and it has given me the power to overcome all adversities.

His Word encouraged and uplifted me, especially when I was feeling down and wanted to give up everything. In short, the Word of God is the living Word, with incomparable power and the ability to transform us. It is like a light shining in the dark, helping us to see things and dispel fear.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for each of them.

You say: “It’s impossible.”
God says: “All things are possible.” (Luke 18:27)

You say: “I’m too tired.”
God says: “I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: “Nobody really loves me.
God says: “I love you.” (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

You say: “I can’t go on.”
God says: “My grace is sufficient.” (2 Corinthians 12:9/Psalm 91:15)

You say: “I can’t figure things out.”
God says: “I will direct your steps.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: “I can’t do it.”
God says: “You can do all things.” (Philippians 4:13)

You say: “I’m not able.”
God says: “I am able.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

You say: “It’s not worth it.”
God says: “It will be worth it.” (Roman 8:28)

You say: “I can’t forgive myself.”
God says: “I FORGIVE YOU!” (1 John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: “I can’t manage.”
God says: “I will supply all your needs.” (Philippians 4:19)

You say: “I’m afraid.”
God says: “I have not given you a spirit of fear.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

You say: “I’m always worried and frustrated.”
God says: “Cast all your cares on ME.” (I Peter 5:7)

You say: “I don’t have enough faith.”
God says: “I have given all a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

You say: “I’m not smart enough.”
God says: “I give you wisdom.” (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: “I feel all alone.”
God says: “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

Every cloud has a silver lining. God’s wonderful providence for our lives is so marvelous, which He has planned for us, but it’s unfortunate we are unable to see this clearly.

May God mercifully give us the strength and help us, so that we can always keep our faith and fully trust in Him, even when we feel hopeless and face dangers, sufferings and fall into difficult situations. Even at times like these, Lord, may we never lose our trust in you as a merciful and loving father who loves us deeply. Amen.

(A fuller version of Fr Peter’s story will be published here next week)