Christ’s love and healing powers in the Confessional turned my life around
I would have gone to Hell had I died in 2004. For over two decades, I had lived a life that was not consonant with my Catholic faith. I had ticked a few boxes that earned me a ticket there. The one that was like a millstone around my neck: adultery with a married woman from another country.
Travelling on this road to perdition, the U-turn came when she, a non-Catholic, was visiting me and bought a Rosary from the Carlo Catholic bookstore next to Saints Peter and Paul’s Church at Waterloo Street.
She asked if I could get it blessed for her. It was a weekday and I replied there should be a priest in church whom we could approach to do so. In the car park, I saw that the church door was opened and the logical first place to look for him.
My instinct was spot on.
As we walked through the door Father was indeed there. He was at the pulpit delivering the homily for the evening Mass. In referring to one of the readings that day the first words I heard him say were, “Come back to me!”
It stopped me dead in my tracks and the hairs on my back stood up. I whispered to my friend that I had to stay for Mass and took a seat in one of the pews. When Mass was over, I immediately approached Father that I urgently needed to go for Confession.
As I poured my heart out in the Confessional of what had become of me and my faith, Father listened patiently. I had expected a harsh admonishment. Instead, he gave me absolution and forgave all my sins. I can’t remember what he said after that, but it went along the lines of, “Go and sin no more and give yourself entirely to God”.
I was crying throughout my Confession, especially when Father, through the mercy of God, granted me absolution. In between sobs, I could only mutter that I would. When I got out of church, I informed her what we were doing had to stop. She agreed readily after witnessing what went on with me at and after Mass (She later reconciled with her husband and both attended RCIA and were baptised Catholic).
My parents brought my brothers and me up as good Catholics and they were hurt when they saw the life I was leading. They’d probably known about the sinful shenanigans that had enslaved their son. But they never gave up on me and it was their prayers to God that moved me to mend fences with Him through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
That moment began my journey of reclaiming and studying diligently my Catholic faith. It is almost 20 years since that wonderful day and this journey will continue until I die. This is why I am still a work in progress.
In looking back recently on my career as a journalist, writer and editor, I realise that God had been training and forming me to use my skills for Him. What I have is never mine, but His.
But in returning home to the Catholic Church, I had gone through many twists and turns. The pivotal moment came in 2015 when I decided to leave my fulltime job as a Senior Correspondent with MediaCorp’s Today newspaper that paid very well.
With bills to pay and aged parents to look after, I arrived at a point where I was not sure where my next paycheck was going to come from. That day, after driving through the gates of MediaCorp at Caldecott Hill for the last time I headed to the Adoration Room at Catholic Spiritual Centre in Punggol.
In prayer, I told Jesus that I am giving Him through His Mother my new career, which I had no clue what it was going to be. And I said to the Mother of God, “You are the Boss of my life, and more than ever before my career!”. I have since never had to go out looking for projects to earn my keep. Instead, I had people calling to commission me for projects. Up till today!
God, in turn, has filled up the rest of my life with His work, in parish ministry and now with The Asian Fishermen. I have no illusions the Devil is all hunky-dory with what has been happening in my life. He is going to come back with a vengeance to thwart my work for God.
But with the Almighty on my side and the Immaculate Conception, radiating God’s power, keeping a close watch over me, I am not afraid of the Devil’s shenanigans.
I have faith in this divine protection because of Christ’s promise to those who accept His commission to evangelise and get everyone to Heaven, “Fear not, I am with you always till the end of time!” (Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 28:20)
GOD FORGIVES ALL SINS IN THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION (CONFESSION)
I am not the first wayward Catholic who found his way to the Confessional and cried like a baby while pouring out my grave misdeeds, which are mortal sins that kill the soul. Many are burdened with the same type of sins as mine. Some are even worse.
They need not suffer in silence because Christ is waiting for them to come home because all the sins of the world cannot prevent us from returning to Him, if we are truly repentant and seek His mercy and forgiveness.
After I stepped back inside the Church, I’ve met others who have travelled on the same road home.
Their experience of crying while confessing their sins and receiving absolution is the same. Also, the feeling that God had shattered the Devil’s heavy millstone hanging around our necks and instantly healed their wounded souls. This relief from the heavy burden of guilt is indescribable.
But there are also others I’ve known who were scared of stepping into the Confessional because they fear admitting their sins, especially of procuring an abortion or being a party to the killing of innocent life, a child, in the womb, and adultery.
There is no foundation for harbouring this fear. Christ tells us that all sins can be forgiven (1 John 1:7–9, Mark 3:28, Matt 12:31-32)
God is the ultimate healer, the Supreme Doctor who can cure all ailments, especially those that sicken a soul, which is beyond the ability of human doctors. It is no accident, therefore, that the Catholic Church is called the hospital for sinners because Christ has given Her the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession).
In the Church He founded, He empowered His apostles, their successors and the priests they ordained to administer this beautiful Sacrament of His mercy and forgiveness. They do this in His capacity (in Persona Christi or in the Person of Christ). This is why we are in the very presence of Christ in the Confessional and in receiving His love for us to wipe out all our sins, even the grave ones, we break down in tears.
So, if you are Catholic and being weighed down by the burden of sin, don’t suffer in silence. Ask any Catholic priest for the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) and let Jesus heal you in the Confessional.
POSED IMAGE: Pexels
