God is not mistaken when He loves and calls us

His love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Rm 5:5)

Over the past few years, I’ve often struggled and questioned myself: How can I love God, who is invisible, with all the power of the love of my heart, and how intense and real that love is, as if I were loving a human being with real body and flesh?

This happened because God himself has poured His love into my heart through His Holy Spirit (Rm 5:5). I believe this is a great gift that God has given to me.

Why have I been able to experience so vividly God’s love for me through the years, so to speak, since I gained wisdom and discovered it in my own simple heart from the time I was a child?

And then in the course of time as I grew up, and especially when I reached adulthood, I discovered God’s call for me to commit myself to follow Him as His disciple. I was 19 then, an age when I dreamt, thought about romance and remember the silhouettes of girls my age. I also secretly wished I had a beautiful and talented girlfriend with many virtues.

Everything is God’s Grace

But then I dismissed those thoughts, after I discovered the Lord’s call rose so strongly in my heart that I couldn’t resist the urge of His invitation. God’s call was increasing in urgency every day and welling up in me. I discovered His will for me – He wanted me to become a priest and dedicate my life to serving the Church through others.

Indeed, the priesthood and consecrated life are very mysterious and an equally mysterious experience for me. I sometimes cannot explain it at all when people wondered and asked me about it from the time I decided to become a seminarian until I was ordained a priest on July 16, 1994. Even to this day.

For example, when I was a seminarian, studying at the Inter-Religious Theological Institute in Melbourne City, Victoria State, Australia, I was often asked: “Why do you want to become a priest?” The question seems very ordinary and simple, but answering it is really not easy. Because a call (vocation) comes from God. It is a gift from Him. We often hear the saying: God calls many but chooses few.

And only those who are called and chosen by God is able to complete their vocation journey and be faithful to the consecrated life until the last moment of life.

Having spent nearly 29 years as a priest, I gradually discovered this and I am convinced of one thing: “Without the grace of God, we who live the consecrated life and will not be able to complete our journey, if God does not bless and sustain us.” And those who live the consecrated life are not only bishops, priests and deacons, but include religious brothers and sisters.

So, for me, Everything is God’s Grace and I’ve always been convinced of this: He has done everything in my life.

There were many times and several nights I prayed to God and said to Him dearly, “Lord, You know how much I love You, even though I am a sinful and weak human being. But You know my heart and the love I have for You. I cannot lie to You, because You know everything, even before I utter a word, You understand my feelings and thoughts. As Psalm 139 itself states:

1. You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2. You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3. You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4. Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5. You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain. (See Psalm 139:1-6)

*God understands everything, even the maneuverings and plottings of man.*

In fact, people can use their lips with beautiful words to praise and flatter each other for their personal benefit. They can also use charming words to flirt and seduce the listener to get what they want! However, for God who is sublime and has boundless wisdom, He understands everything, even the maneuverings and plottings of man.

Approaching God with honesty

Because of that, every time I come to God, I am always aware and understand that He knows everything and there is nothing that I can hide from Him. So, the best way for me is to be honest with a sincere and simple heart whenever I am in the presence of God. I should honestly share with Him my own difficulties, concerns, dreams and ambitions. I should also talk to Him about what I still lack and ask for His support so that I can overcome these shortcomings and challenges, especially with my wrongdoings or mistakes that I often make. Including what I consider to be the deepest thing in my soul that I can only share honestly with God, because I believe He understands what is going on in my heart and my inner turmoil.

People’s lives and journeys are not always smooth sailing, and the path each of us will go through is not always a smooth one, without stones and obstacles. There are always bumps and bends on the road in our journey. I think about this point all the time because each one of us cannot avoid them and have more or less our respective personal experiences.

For me, the sentiment and lyrics of the song, “God is not mistaken” are apt. It was composed by Fr Kim Long who is also a well-known musician in Vietnam. I believe this song is his unique experience as a priest. He is one of the elder priests in Vietnam whom I have admired for a long time, although I have never met him. But I have heard a lot about him from my close priest friends. I think what Fr Kim Long is trying to express through the lyrics of his song is also something that almost each of us priests, including those who live a consecrated life, can sympathize and attest to. It is a very real experience for us priests and those in religious life.

In closing, I would like to borrow the lyrics of his song, because I am interested in what Fr Kim Long wrote, which is also my personal experience.

God is not mistaken, when He calls me to follow
Even though life is drifting like duckweed
Because God has known from the time before I was born
Once the breath is not over
It’s a life that hasn’t been overcome with grief
God is not mistaken, when He lifted me up
No matter how low my life is
Because God has known from time immemorial
Sometimes I’m not faithful
It’s because I’m not a god
God is not wrong, when He taught me to love
Although there’s a lot of wrongdoing on the road of love
Because God has known from time immemorial
Every second flutters in my heart
Is every second of hot breath