As the Desert Fathers discovered, the Lord meets us in the stillness of isolation
On Tuesday, a fortnight ago, I had an opportunity to visit Helen Hutt Falls in North Cheyenne Cañon Park. Three days later I went to Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument. Both are in Colorado Springs, and on those occasions, in my solitude, I had an encounter with God that opened the way to find Him in me.
Solitude is a state of being completely cut off from all human contact, and sometimes stresses a loneliness such as that of a hermit.
Today, I like to share with you these two spiritual experiences that touched me very deeply and helped me to be aware that God is present in our inner being – that we could find Him within ourselves. This experience echoes the prayer of St Augustine of Hippo (354-430) “Late Have I Loved You” which he wrote in his book, Confessions,
Late have I loved you, O beauty, ever ancient, ever new!
Late have I loved you.
And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there,
and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely, created things which you made.
You were with me, and I was not with you.
The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you,
they had no existence at all.
You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness.
You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness.
You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you.
I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you.
You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.
Finding God in stillness and solitude
As I was reading this magnificent prayer of St Augustine by the bank of the stream, my eyes focused on the still water that ran so calmly and smoothly. The shallow water was so clear and still that I could see right through to the bottom of its bed.
As I was sitting there silently, I entered into a stillness and solitude, listening to the water flow gently. It created a beautiful sound that calmed me, and, in that tranquillity, I was able to see myself clearly as who I am. I discovered a great insight: If I want to see me as I am, I need to enter solitude and be still. In absolute stillness and solitude, I can find me and if I can do this, then, I will be able to find God’s presence within me.
I was so happy at this great discovery because it helped me to understand that this way, all of us can find God within ourselves. But it is important we must first have to be still and enter into solitude. Without these conditions, it will be difficult to encounter the Lord. In saying this, I am not denying the possibility some of us could still find God in the marketplace.
My second spiritual experience was on Friday, 23 September at the Florissant Fossil Beds National Monument. The purpose of this exercise was to find God in the forest, to experience Him in nature and see how He manifests Himself through His creation.
So, I set out alone and walked slowly on the trail that led me through the meadows and forests of so many beautiful pine trees. During my stroll, I could hear clearly the sound of winds which gently blew on my face. It refreshed me and I felt so energetic and eager to walk for a longer distance.
The breathtaking majesty and beauty of the entire landscape motivated me to embark on this quiet journey. They revealed the presence of God in His marvellous creations. I was so overwhelmed with joy that as a result experienced a deep inner peace, as though I was one with nature. It was totally relaxing, and I felt as if my body was afloat.
The secret of the Desert Fathers
I contemplated the beauty of nature that was enveloping me and, at that moment, an inspired thought appeared in my mind: If I have the courage to enter solitude and not be afraid of the silence or loneliness or anything else, I can experience God’s presence and find Him in me. This insight was like a treasure that I just discovered after so many years of searching for it. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart for revealing it to me during my walk in the forest.
Perhaps, this is a spiritual secret of the Fathers who lived in the desert many centuries ago. They had found God in their solitude and in the silence of the desert.
Through this personal experience, I also discovered why Jesus was taken into the desert and for 40 days. I believe that in such a place we can encounter God and be united with Him.
As we witness from the Gospels, Jesus often goes into a lonely place or up a mountain to be alone in solitude to pray. Up there or in the desert is a special location where we can easily experience God within ourselves.
Next time, if you want to encounter God, you should do a silent retreat, visit a forest or national park or sit by the riverbank by yourself, in quietness and solitude. I am certain you will be able to find God in your own heart.
Do not be afraid to journey alone into the desert or forest. Only by doing this courageously, you will be able to find Him who is always longing to meet you. He will reveal to you as He really is, the God of love and mercy, slow to anger and ready to forgive us for all our sins.
Excerpt from the handout for the Sabbatical Program (Fall 2022) at Mercy Center in Colorado Springs:
In being alone I became one with all creation. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, a famous Russian novelist, says, “Being alone from time to time is more necessary for a common human being than eating and drinking.”
Now if the Angel of Solitude leads you into this experience of your humanity, then you lose all fear of loneliness and of being left alone. I wish the Angel of Solitude for you. I hope it will lead you into a fruitful solitude, where you can get to know yourself as you really are, where there’s no point in making yourself interesting to others.
Solitude is an essential part of everyone’s Spiritual Journey. Jesus endured solitude when he fasted for 40 days in the wilderness.
Now I suggest that you take 15 minutes to find a quiet place to endure solitude, come back and share with others what you discovered about yourself.
Main photo: Fr Peter Hung Tran
